Remembering my Grandparents

This year has been a difficult one. I lost two of my grandparents in the first half of it. It seemed like every time I visited my family, I had to turn around and fly home two weeks later for a funeral. They’re both greatly missed, as are all of my other grandparents that have passed away. With all the renovations I’ve been doing on this site and the content I’ve been putting out, I’ve been reminded how much they taught me—much of which is vital to the topics I write about here. So, here’s a post in memory of my grandparents, and a little more about the lessons they instilled in me.

Grandma Edie

Though I called her just “Grandma,” Grandma Edie was actually my great-grandmother. She passed away this June. She was my last living grandparent that I was very close to. Growing up, I spent a lot of time at her house and even stayed there some times during college breaks. Without her, chances are that all my posts about sewing wouldn’t exist. She taught me a lot about sewing, and I logged many hours on her machine while visiting. Her stash was always open to me, as were her wise words and helping hands.

Sewing wasn’t the only skill she tried to teach me, although it’s one of the few that took. She constantly baked, and would show me how to make whatever she was working on at the time—delicious cinnamon rolls, wonderful cookies, moist cakes—but my baking skills are still sub-par. She was an expert at the art of letter writing, constantly corresponding with numerous acquaintances, but she often called my penmanship horrible, complaining that I never wrote in cursive, just chicken scratch.  Her garden was always full of beautiful flowers and tasty vegetables, and I spent many a summer day helping harvest, but I can’t keep a cactus alive. Regardless of all that, every time I work on a sewing project, I remember sitting in the spare bed room, setting up her sewing machine, and sewing away at whatever I could think of to make out of the scraps I dug out of the depths of her fabric dresser. It’s a wonderful memory, and a defining skill.

Pee-paw

Although I didn’t consciously meet him until I was 10 years old or so, I’m glad that I was able to develop a close relationship with my paternal grandfather before he passed away this January. He taught me a lot about classic cars and history. He also taught me that there’s nothing wrong with reading a pulpy romance novel for the historical setting (*wink*). He might have stuck to the historicals more than the paranormal, but my willingness to be entertained by these non-literary masterpieces is thanks to him and his his paperback collection.

Granny

Granny, Pee-paw’s wife, was a defining part of my late teenage years. Again, although I didn’t know her for most of my young childhood, we established a wonderful bond before she passed away my senior year of college. Her years-long fight with cancer (surviving well past most of the expiration dates her doctors tried to give her) was an inspiration; gumption and plain ol’ stubbornness can get you a long way. She expected great things out of me, and made sure that I planned on staying on path for college and graduation. Not to say she wouldn’t have loved another great-grandkid (there are quite a few), she always reminded me that she would be sublimely happy if I didn’t get married or have a kid before she died; just to be sure that I’d get through school and be successful in a career before I started a family. While she may not have been a CEO, she was nothing if not successful. Successful in raising four boys. Successful in being a matriarch of a huge family. Successful in all the work she did for Eastern Star and the town she lived in. She taught me that you have to want success, work for it, and balance the fine line between strong-willed and obstinate.

Grandma Faye

We lived with my Grandma Faye for many years, throughout her long decline from Alzheimer’s. She fought the disease for many years before passing away my sophomore year of college. It is a terrible disease that changes a person’s personality immensely—especially when someone battles it for a decade—but I still remember my Grandma before the disease advanced. From her, I learned a lot about compassion and that family isn’t necessarily just about blood. All her life, she took in strays (of the human, kind, not so much the animal), giving them a sense of family. She was always willing to help with whatever was needed. She taught me cursive (not that I use it), religion and tried to teach me how to cook. She taught me to play the piano. I can still bang out “When the Saints Go Marching In” and “Amazing Grace” by heart (though not any better than I could at five years old). When my cousins and I were young, she took hundreds of photos of us (this was before digital), and encouraged me to take them as well. I’m not a great photographer, but I do enjoy heading out to Carl’s races with my camera in hand. Her encouragement of all my projects pushed me to be as creative as I could be, something I endeavor to continue.

Grandpas Joe

I have three grandpas Joe, one of whom is still living. The others, my maternal grandfather (husband of Faye) and a great-grandfather (husband of Edie) passed away 20 and 10 years ago, respectively. While I was still quite young when they died, I’ve found that they’ve both taught me many lessons posthumously. Both men were the breadwinners of the home, career men for their companies. They also both died rather unexpectedly. Luckily for my grandmothers, who both outlived their husbands by a decade or more, both men were also frugal, smart investors who left enough money behind to make sure their wives could get by without too much of a difference in quality of life. At 3 and 13, the concept of retirement planning, pensions, and investments was a nebulous concept, but now that I’m grown and saving for myself, I credit these two men with teaching me the lesson that the future matters: be prepared for it (and the living Grandpa Joe’s pretty smart about it all too).

What is your favorite or most useful lesson from a grandparent (or grandparent-ly figure)?